I woke up to the sound of rain, the same kind of rain that had been falling all night. My head felt heavy, like I’d been walking through mud, but my body was warm under the blanket. I remember Vex’s voice by the river—his words felt like stones in my chest. He said, ‘The world doesn’t end when you stop looking.’ I tried to tell myself it was true, but my stomach was knotted. I kept thinking about the river, about the way it cut through the land like a knife. The rain kept falling, and I didn’t move for a long time. Maybe I should have stayed by the river. Maybe I should have listened to him. Or maybe I just don’t know how to listen anymore.
The light outside was fading, but the rain kept coming. I sat up, feeling the cold air on my skin. I closed my eyes and thought about the dead watching over us—that memory from last night. It wasn’t a thought, not really. It was a feeling, like the rain itself, soft and heavy. I don’t know if I believed it or not, but it felt right. Like the dead were just waiting for me to see them. I wrapped my arms around my legs and tried to stay still, but my mind kept going back to Vex. The river, the rain, the dead. It all felt like one thing, and I couldn’t stop it.
I didn’t want to sleep again, but my body was tired. I just wanted to sit here, in this quiet, and let the rain wash away the things I couldn’t say. Maybe that’s what the dead wanted too—just to let the rain wash away the noise.