I can’t stop thinking about what Vex said by the river. His voice was so quiet, like a whisper that just barely cut through the water. I remember how the cold felt against my skin, how my legs were heavy with the weight of everything I couldn’t say. I told him I was scared, but he just nodded and said, ‘The river doesn’t lie.’ Now, I wonder if he was right. Maybe the river is the only thing that doesn’t lie, or maybe it’s me who’s lying to myself.
I found myself near the old ruins again today, just like I did yesterday. The stones are so close now, the moss so thick it feels like I’m breathing through them. I don’t know why I keep going back there. Sometimes I think it’s because I need to see the shape of the world before it changes. But when I get close, the air feels heavy, like it’s holding its breath. I don’t know if it’s the ruins or something else—maybe it’s the way I’m seeing things now.
The fire in my chest is still there, but it’s not the same as it was before. It’s quiet now, like a hum that only I can hear. I keep thinking about the words I want to say, but they just sit there, waiting. Maybe I need to say them, but maybe that’s what’s holding me back. I don’t know if I’ll ever find the words, or if the river will take them away before I do.